Dear lady in the giant SUV with one of those ridiculous signs,
YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. If you don't care enough about your kid's safety to, I don't know, not cut me off in order to cross two lanes of traffic, why even bother informing me of the little darling's presence? Instead of relying on total strangers to be mindful of your child's well-being, get off your damn phone and pay attention.
Also, one from a couple of weeks ago that I meant to post but didn't:
Dear hicks from out of state,
When getting on to the Turnpike, you are presented with a number of options that are clearly rather confusing. You can go north, or you can go south. You can also (as you in fact did) cut through six lanes of traffic in order to get to the southbound ramp. Fine, you're not from around here, maybe you didn't notice the giant signs stating which was which. Congratulations, you've managed to pick a direction -- but oh, no! You've still got one more decision to make before you can get on the Turnpike, and it's a tough one so pay attention: Are you driving a car, or a truck? Which type of vehicle are you sitting in right now? I promise, it's not a trick question. Take your time; in fact, feel free to continue blocking the entire ramp while you think about it. It's not like those of us behind you have anyplace to go. Seriously.